I don't want to have a relationship with you.. but an affair could be attractive (page 1 of 2)

Unfortunately, the magazines seem to be obsessed with it. It's all over the place. The lunatics are running the asylum.

But, I can't help thinking it's our own fault ...and I'm as much to blame as anyone.

For the last 20 years, I have been suggesting, to all that might have been kind enough to listen, that building a relationship with your customer, is a mentality that is absolutely vital to the long term success of your company's marketing activity.

Sorry, but it's all nonsense...

All those thousands of hours in client meetings, conferences, seminars and workshops in far flung corners of the world and, of course, endless presentations and discussions and, it appears, I have been wasting my time...

It is a classic case, of course, of that was then, this is now. It was completely correct to go down the relationship road many years ago. A lot of us old direct marketing liggers have been preaching the gospel for many years before the dm bandwagon got rolling.

However, things have changed significantly in the last few years. In all areas of marketing. In relationship and loyalty marketing, that change has been dramatic and things have turned on their head, especially in the last 24 months or so...

There's a very simple reason why:

The customer is now very firmly in control. What's more, the customer is fully aware of this fact. And, that customer does not want to have a relationship with you and your company. Not now, not ever...

It's ironic really. It's been the devil's own job in the last two decades to get blinkered marketers to accept that it is infinitely more profitable to service an existing customer than it is to find a new one and have this marketing commandment underpin their strategy.

Now , ten years later, when customers are getting promiscuous, marketers want to go steady. The dreaded CRM is all over us like a rash.

Well, it is my humble opinion that it will all end up with tears before bedtime.

Relationships within marketing circles are fine. Makes the world go round. But relationships between companies and individuals are now pie in the sky.

They will not happen today. Not a chance. And here's some very simple reasons why...

• Customers these days do not want a relationship with companies. Relationships in life are a two-way thing. Just think about it. I currently give some companies and organisations repeat business and I remain loyal to them. But, only because they give me what I want. When they stop doing that, I will go elsewhere.

This is an arrangement on my terms. It is not a relationship.

Why can't these people that talk endlessly about CRM just look at themselves first? I'll bet you anything you like, that very few of them have relationships with companies. Yet, they expect people to have one with their company.

• CRM/Relationship marketing programmes represent a massive investment for companies. They also require enormous patience. There is no quick fix. ROI will take years in some cases. So, time and money are needed. Most companies do not have either. What's also very interesting is the vast majority of the marketing and communications decision makers that start the programmes, just won't be there after the first year.