The creative genius of coffee boys

The role itself has many other descriptors: Runner, tea boy (or the slightly more respectful tea 'lady'), office boy, etc. They exist on almost every continent except, perhaps, in America, where nouns simultaneously used for children and grown men were deemed derogatory, and hence outlawed, decades ago.

Now, such positions don't exist in the Land of the Free; but if they did, they would first be unionized then more appropriately labelled 'paraphernalia distribution technicians' or 'vice presidents, beverage coordination' in deference to their expertise.

These geniuses operate behind the scenes: they rarely receive written briefs yet always deliver when asked; they are hardly ever invited to internal agency meetings; they rarely converse with clients yet ensure their comfort; and they are most certainly not mentioned in congratulatory emails distributed throughout an agency when it wins a pitch (mea culpa).

It is, however, their vision, dedication, humility, and hard work that makes honourable men of them; and these are the very traits that set one agency apart from another. And most of all, it is their resourcefulness that inspires, albeit subconsciously, the strategic, organizational and creative brilliance of agency staffers.

Their contributions begin well before they are hired, with the parents who provide them with positively exceptional names. I have worked, for example, with Ignatius, Ibrahim, Raphael, Shashi, Muhamad and Nezar who-simply by virtue of being called upon-pique the imagination with Roman history, Renaissance art, religious mystery and poetic majesty.

Yet to ponder their nomenclature is merely the beginning of true inspiration. For in their uncomplaining conduct are examples of excellence that shame the best managing directors; and in their selfless devotion, wisdom for every account manager, copywriter, art director, designer or producer.

To begin with, they arrive at their respective offices well before they must, often soon after dawn; and then proceed to prepare the premises for the intermittent arrival of bleary-eyed employees with desks wiped clean, coffee boiling and tea-bags at the ready.

Then, throughout the day, they will perform functions that are best defined as addendums to their job descriptions; and these are done more to ease the lives of their colleagues than to ensure occupational security. They will purchase cigarettes, make coffee, fetch fast food, make coffee, bring snacks, make coffee, and so on. And, of course, in between they will photocopy, distribute mail, deliver various important documents and then mop the bathroom floor long after the last bleary-eyed employee has left the building.

Only a few of the more elite personnel engage their coffee-making colleagues in intellectual conversation, other than to bark orders or politely ask for a chocolate bar; yet, when one does, it is fascinating to learn of their trials and tribulations or of their ingenuity in managing to build homes on minimum wages. But, more than anything else, it is intriguing to hear their views on the business and people in the company, as well as the products or ideas they generate.

Coffee boys, it turns out, have opinions.

When you think about it, they are perfect professionals. They do pretty much more than is expected of them, never whinge, and are always ready to respond to a whim.

So, you must be thinking by now: what is the point of all this? Well, one is that we consider the exemplary ethic of an employee class that is far more conscious of their replaceability than the rest of us. Yet, more importantly, it is simply to consider that the common beverage coordinator might deserve due appreciation if not recognition, be it with the occasional gratuity or kind word.

And if that's too difficult, get up and go make your own damn coffee.