24-hour ordeal: no mobile, no internet

Here is Martin's diary of what happened during the longest day of his life:

23:15 (the day before)
Just setup my Microsoft Outlook 'out of office reply' making sure people will know that I will be offline the next day. Also printed off my calendar and relevant telephone numbers off the extranet, will be lost otherwise during the day. Emailed 8 clients asking them to call me on land line in order to discuss retainer contracts for 2006 - I know I will have lots of time for that.

00:15
Very tempted to check my emails before going to bed. Remember not to cheat in the first hour of my longest day in life, and start watching television. They show pampers advertising that does not interest me and I keep on switching channels. Realize that my television comes as TV signal over IP via the internet, and switch off, and go to bed.

08:15
Overslept, and woken up by my house mate. Realize that I don't even own an alarm clock; my cell phone usually does the job. Far too late in order to be on time for my first meeting at 9am, considering the traffic jam around 5th inter change.

08:34
Calling the office on land line, as I don't remember a single mobile number, leaving a message that I will be late. Voicemail, wonder if anyone picks up my message. Big doubts.

08:50
Traffic jammed up until second round about into the Meadows. During normal days, I would get out my laptop, plug-in the 3G high-speed internet access card and start working on my emails, syncing my calendar with my mobile phone and getting things out of the way before my first meeting. Today, I won't - instead I read the papers. Wonder why people pay for Emirates Today, where news.google.com is free, and decide to check 7DAYS (offline version).


08:55
My car has built in SMS, fax and phone. Lisa, my camera-girl for the day, takes a picture of me looking sad as she takes out the chip that keeps that feature running. Poor me.

09:10
Late in office for first meeting, and people wonder if I had an accident as my cell phone was off. Client meeting goes well, except that I can not show them examples of previous work online, as the Internet is off today.

09:55
Client leaves, and I head over to my office wondering how many emails I might have missed already. My secretary has in fact cheated and printed one important email for me that I respond in handwriting and fax back to the client. Feel really stupid. Have a new colleague that started yesterday and she looks at me not knowing if she started her career at one of the leading internet agencies or a circus directed by an old-fashion CEO. That would be me.

10:15
First phone call from James canceling the 11am meeting. Alright, why didn't you cancel it automatically in my online calendar and Maria (my secretary who has also access to my schedule) could have moved things around. Also just realized that I cheated again - I am using my land line which in fact is a Cisco IP telephone - all calls are being done via the Internet which reduces the costs enormously for Dubai Media City, we pay full price.

10:38
Sending a fax to Dimitri, asking him how he is doing. Telling him that I am bored as hell and tell him to look up 7DAYS newspaper on page 7 there is an Emirates Airline ad with the same promotion that his agency is handling online, the only difference is that you can not click on the ad, although it promotes ONLINE fares. Weired world that we live in.

10:54
Dimitri calls, he just got the fax. So much about instant communication. 16 minutes on fax versus 1 second response time on MSN messenger. He says that the EK ad supports the online campaign. I respond: 'Have you ever seen an online ad asking people to climb on the bridge advertising on the 3rd inter change and then look for a mupi ad in order to get 10% off your ticket purchase with Emirates?' We both laugh, and feel useless.

10:56
Get a letter from the UK with a reminder for bill payment for my house in London. Overdue for a while - good lord, heavy interest charge almost double the bill. Calling HSBC now, online banking can not be used, so let's see if I remember the phone access codes… 'All lines are busy, please continue to hold, your call will be attended too.' Feels like being on a 28kbps dial up line where you have to wait ages until the page loads. 3 minutes on the line and still nothing. Start reading the newspaper accompanied by music and 'All lines are buys, please continue to hold…..'

11:10
Usually I ping my secretary on MSN for some coffee and water, but today I have so much time - so I do the coffee myself. Actually, it's nice to have a break instead of sitting in front of your screen all day long and I make a mental note to do this from tomorrow onwards, and will ask around who else might want to have a cup.

11:14
I need to cheat. My LAN cable is plugged off and attached with a tape to my monitor so that everyone can see that I am offline, but I just switched on my wireless network card so that I at least can access the office network. Need some files desperately and promise myself NOT to use the Internet, e-Mail and any messenger application such as MSN, and made sure that all of them are shut down. It feels already better to be able to print, access our financial software application and all network files, at least I can WORK.

11:21
Tried to call Dr. Irfan from Yahoo Middle East, in response to one of his emails. Can not get hold of him and wished I could just drop him a note via email. Instead, I send him a hand written fax note. I know he will laugh and pity me.

12:04
Just finished writing a very long fax related to some financial issues, and had to write very long explanations as I could not email an Excel spreadsheet with formulas etc, so the print out had to be explained in as much details as possible so that my counter part can understand what we are talking about. Will call them once the 12 pages have been faxed to explain via phone and to assure that everything is understood correctly.

12:44
Got two more faxes done, and feel like an old man that takes ages to do things that usually take seconds.

12:45
Since I logged into to the LAN, I had to shut down all applications, and forgot about Skype. Got busted again, with an incoming Internet call from a friend. Had to explain what I am doing and shut down. Now they think I am really stupid, and they call me a computer online geek. Why? I am not even online? I hate this day.

Thinking of the following: If someone offered me one million US$ for never using the internet and my mobile phone ever again in my life, that I would turn the offer down. It makes me feeling sad: Some people don't have food or shelter, and I complain about connectivity issues, and turn down a million bucks. What about ten million US$, my camera girl asks? I am thinking about it. Would you?

12:55
It's time to leave for lunch at the Grosvenor house. Invitation by a PR agency and I don't even know where the lunch is, have no cell phone no contact number and will try to find them. Voila, I am really hungry!

13:15
Lunch with some networking is going well, and people that I share my story with just look at me as if I am from a different planet. I tell you what: Try it yourself, shut down the net and try doing it for even longer than just 24 hours. One positive thing to note: I am the only person who does not have a mobile phone that needs to be switched off, or disturbs with ring tones from the TV series 24, or vibrates in your pockets on silent mode. Very relaxed. But can I please have my Internet back?

14:50
Back at the office, apologizing for being late solid 50 minute. No, I could not have called, there were simply no coin phones on the way back. At least the client smiles about a good excuse. While my account director shows something online, I close my eyes. No cheating.

15:11
Dimitri rocks up, and together with Lisa we decide to go and purchase a newspaper. Lisa films me entering the 24/7 convenient shop where I grab a Gulf News and make my way to the counter.

Me: 'Do I have to pay for this?'

Shop assistant: (disturbed look on her face) 'What? Of course, Sir.'

Me: 'Why? When I read GulfNews.com online, they don't ask me for money?'

Her: 'I don't know, I will ask my boss.'

I give her 10 bucks and she can keep the change. We got it on tape and I finally complain about the environmentally unfriendly paper and the weight of the newspaper: It's almost as heavy as my Sony Vaio. And I can't find that full text search feature as well.

15:30
Some more colleagues from various interactive agencies rock up at our office together with Peter Barton, editor from Gulf Marketing Review, for an Internet round table. We heavily discuss the growth of the industry, budgets, strategies, integration of online into the overall marketing mix and I realize the my mind is fully with the team: No hidden checking of emails or sending SMS via my Nokia Communicator. Seems that this day has also something good.

17:30
Meeting over, and any other day I would return missed calls and check back on emails. There is no such option, so we go for a coffee and hang out in front of the office, chatting about latest client wins and lost pitches and so on.

18:07
Back at my desk, I write my last fax and push it over the analogue line. Not one person has responded and send me a fax. If every day was like this, we would be bankrupt and out of business - I typically receive up to 500 emails a day.

18:40
Off to play squash with my business partner Dinesh. Traffic on beach road, so I take the short cut through Knowledge Village, and can't call Dee who is only 5 or 6 cars behind me and gets stuck arriving 20 minutes later than me. Will not happen again, by mid night I will be online and mobile again.

20:10
Driving home, as there is nothing else that I can do. Usually I would work until 9 or 10pm, write numerous emails and do a lot of research online, that I won't have time for during my busy day full of meetings and so on. I also miss being on my hand's free while driving, I typically try to maximize my time in the car by making as many phone calls as possible, and on my way home sometimes call my family in Germany and the UK. Tonight I am listening to radio, and soon switch over to my iPod which plays music of my choice (U2), and no boring ads.

23:15
After a relaxing massage and small dinner, I am sitting here in front of my notes and re-think the day. To make it simple: STUPID STUPID STUPID I feel. I have achieved hardly anything today; will have double work tomorrow and probably lots of emergency cases to deal with post mid-night. I am glad that the day is over, and I am confident that I will not be doing this again, as a volunteer. The Internet is part of my life, a must for almost all of my daily business activities and definitely a GOOD thing, if handled with care.

Despite all over-communication of emails, messenger chat rooms and mobile phone / SMS, I rather have the choice to delete emails, block calls and put the 'busy sign' on my MSN than being offline ever again.

One thing I noted positively: Without a cell phone it's definitely less a headache and I am considering of not using my private mobile number for business in the future, as it gives me more privacy and freedom to focus on real tasks, than many convenient calls (e.g. taking comprehensive client briefs via phone, being on busy SZRD). So everyone listen: Email me, instead of texting or calling me and disturbing me secretly browsing the World Wide Web during office hours

One last comment (since I am in the online advertising business) and a message to all my clients, want-to-be clients and every marketer in the Middle East and elsewhere: If you are still concerned about allocating any dollars (or more than 0.25% of your total media budget) into online advertising; if you still believe that you can not reach your most important target group (me) on the Internet; if you still insist on putting TV, radio, print and outdoor at the forefront of your media strategy, keeping online last or nowhere, then I only have one advise for you: STOP USING THE INTERNET, at least for a day. Try to run your department without the net, switch your communication over to fax and snail mail, rely on post-campaign research, and do not justify ROI (which by the way means Return On Internet) and please, do not send me any email - that would be considered as cheating.

Midnight - 24 hours after

I am back online. My life is back in order. Mails are coming in, a lot, too many. I don't care; things are back to normal, even with 420 items in my inbox and more than 30 missed calls.

And back to the 10 million US$ question, the answer is NO. You can take radio, newspapers and television from me, but the Internet stays with me, forever.